Monday, July 9, 2012

From Kansas City to... Kansas?

It has been determined after thorough and extensive research that no one can hit a home run from Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, MO to the state of Kansas.

That's unfortunate.

What HAS been determined is the fact that the miniature baseball diamond in Kauffman Stadium's 'Outfield Experience' named "Little K" faces the fine state of Kansas. To reach it, someone would have to launch a home run over the left field fence....

...and hope that it carries for eight and a half miles.

Having said that, I propose that Major League Baseball change the rules of tonight's home run derby. I first considered that the derby should take place at Little K, and each team would hit home runs until the cumulative distance of their hits totals 8.5 miles. Considering each participant's longest home run is roughly 450 feet, that would take about 99 home runs to make up the distance, and that would take too darned long.

My second (and much more appealing proposal) would also take place at Little K. In this scenario, Jose Canseco would be given the opportunity to hit to his hearts' content. Chris Berman would ask after each hit, "Do you think that one made it to the state of Kansas?" and Jose would tweet his response. That way, the players wouldn't worry about 'messing up their swings', Jose could have his turn at the plate that he so desires, and people might actually tune in.

And that's how we fix the Home Run Derby!

No comments: